7. Hover Pads

If there’s one car accessory we’ve been promised for years, only to be disappointed again and again, it’s the hover pad. From Back to the Future to The Jetsons, we’ve been shown that in the future streets are totally lame and that flying your car around town is the way to go. You wouldn’t even need to buy a new car; just slap some hover pads under your current auto and you’re good to go. Yet some mysterious force keeps this technology just out of grasp. The government? The Illuminati? Bigfoot? We’ll likely never know.

6. Drink Dispensers

Why stop off at the local fast food joint for a soda when you could grab a fountain drink right from dashboard? The built-in soda and coffee dispenser seems like a natural advancement for the car of the future, but for some reason no one has stepped up to the plate to deliver such a miraculous invention. Sure, it would probably lead to a few stains, burns and possible fires, but isn’t that a small price to pay to not have to wait in line for a drink?

5. Ejector Seat

If you ask me, it’s insulting that car buyers don’t have the option to install ejector seats in their cars. I don’t know about you, but if I’m about to hit a semi going 70 MPH, I’d rather just fly out of there than trust my life to a cheap bag of air. Plus, you’ll look like a secret agent as you gently float to the ground via parachute. How many accessories can make you look cool AND keep you safe?

4. Sound Proof Bubble

In The Simpsons, Homer’s car of the future ended up being a huge flop. But the one accessory he was dead right about was the sound proof bubble. I don’t want to hear kids or belligerently drunk friends of mine blather on in the back seat; I wanna jam quietly to the smooth sounds of Enya. And imagine how many accidents could be avoided if the driver’s seat was completely separated from the annoying sounds of children screaming, wives nagging and coworkers awkwardly singing along to One Direction.

3. TV Screen Windshield

People complained that LCD screens being installed in the steering wheel would lead to deadly accidents. My only complaint is that they aren’t big enough! Imagine having you whole windshield turn into a massive TV screen at the flip of a button. Watch Maury tell someone they aren’t the father, and then switch to taking out bad guys in the latest FPS game. And it would obviously be safer than the LCD screens they install in your dash. At least this way, your eyes are still technically on the road. Just don’t play any racing games on it. That would probably get confusing.

2. Autopilot

It’s a crazy world we live in where almost everyone is allowed to drive a car, but only pilots with special training are allowed to fly a plane. I mean, planes have autopilot; a feature that cars have been lacking for years. While those lazy jerks can just hit a button and relax while the plane flies itself, we poor folks on the ground have to steer our cars like idiots. We already have cruise control to take care of hitting the gas for us; how much harder can it be to invent something to navigate the roads for us too?

1. Sentience

The sad truth is that some people in the world are lonely. And while the lucky among us may have a special someone to keep us company on long road trips, the loners out their will inevitably end up talking to their car. So wouldn’t it be nice if it could talk back? A completely sentient automobile like KITT or Bumblebee that can respond to your every command. Of course, this would probably eventually lead to automobiles taking over the earth and making the human race into their slaves, so perhaps sentience is a function best left unimplemented.

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There are three basic types of vibrations:

1. Engine RPM related – If the vibration is related to engine RPM, it will occur in all gears (and possibly even sitting still) at a particular engine RPM or above. This vibration usually can be attributed to the engine itself or anything else that turns at the same speed as the engine, such as the harmonic balancer, flywheel or flexplate, pilot bearing, pressure plate, torque converter, or transmission input shaft. It is also possible for body contact with the engine, transmission, or exhaust to cause an engine RPM related vibration. Worn or broken engine or transmission mounts can contribute to this problem. When driving the vehicle with the vibration present, maintain vehicle speed and try shifting to a lower or higher gear. If the vibration changes or goes away while maintaining the same vehicle speed, then the problem is not related to engine RPM.

2. Vehicle Speed related – If the vibration is related to vehicle speed, it will not be present until you reach a certain speed, and then it will usually start gradually and then become worse as speed increases. In some cases, it will decrease at some point, and then come back again at a higher speed. This type of vibration could be related to your wheels, tires, axles, differential, driveshaft runout, balance, or angles, universal joints, or transmission output shaft. Try the same driving test as above. If the vibration is present in third gear at 50 mph, but shifting to fourth gear at 50 MPH makes the vibration go away, then it is not going to be vehicle speed related and you can usually rule out any rotating component that is further back than the transmission output shaft. At a given MPH, your output shaft, driveshaft, axles, wheels and tires are all turning at a constant speed, no matter what gear the transmission is in.

3. Accel/Decel/Cruise related – A vibration that changes depending on whether you are accelerating, decelerating, or cruising at a steady speed could have quite a few different causes. Generally, this will be related to driveshaft angles or a worn or broken part, instead of something being out of balance. Think about what changes when the engine is under load. The engine and isolator mount loads shift; the load on the pinion bearing changes; your driveshaft angles change, possibly more than they should due to a broken engine or transmission mount; your exhaust, shifter, transmission, etc. could be contacting the body only on accel or decel; if the car has been lowered (or raised), your suspension snubbers could be contacting the body prematurely.

A vehicle works as a system, and you have to understand the relationships between all the different parts when you are trying to diagnose a driveline vibration. Determining if the vibration is related to engine speed, vehicle speed, or engine load will help you narrow down the list of possible culprits, and keep you from wasting your time looking in the wrong places.